Just seeing those names on the same movie poster get me excited.
The Expendables is coming out this weekend and anybody who loves mindless action movies is excited. I’m hoping audiences flock to see it rather than Eat Pray Love this weekend. Perhaps Hollywoodland will stop making romantic comedy dribble and inject some testosterone back into film. Probably not.
You know, thinking of testosterone in film, I can’t. There has been a huge masculine depression in the world of movies. I’m a big fan of comic books and most of their movies, but even I’m sick of tiny pretty boys in tights in CGI worlds. Seriously, lets look at some of the “action stars” of the new millennium:
Hugh Jackman
Your posture is... off. A bit. Not in a bad way, just in an effeminate way.
Jackman is a Broadway actor who can sing well and has hosted the Oscars. Talented? Yes, very much so. Action-star? Not so much.
Ryan Reynolds
A funny picture that you'll never find Schwarzenegger posing for.
I actually like Reynolds’ smart-ass sarcastic persona, but action star he is not. He’s funny, but he’s not exactly bad-ass.
Sam Worthington
"Crikey, is that me up on the screen, mate? Aye, I is!"
You know this douche from Avatar, Clash of the Titans (the shitty 2010 version), and Terminator: Salvation. I… honestly can’t see the appeal. He’s a horrendous actor, tiny, and lacks any sense of charisma. Why is he cast in action films at all?
Tobey Maguire
Yes, please emo-up my action stars. Thank you.
If they can paint our muscles in post-production, you’re not the guy I want to see “kicking ass.” Maguire isn’t the only offender, but he’s the easiest to recognize. While dramatic actors might add “depth” to a character, they sure as hell aren’t cool when they do it.
There are definitely others that could be listed here (feel free to tell me about it in the comments) but I just don’t feel like it. Just missing the list are the huge let-downs that are Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Vin Diesel because, for some reason, I still have hope that they can return to the world of action.
Ummmm - never mind.
